Reinvention
by meira16
Summary: When the pain becomes too much, sometimes the only remaining option is to become someone else. One-shot. First story - please review.


None of the characters are mine. Neither is the line from White Oleander.

This came to me when I noticed that Andromeda's name is Dromeda, which just seemed a little awkward. Also, I'd like to think she's actually nicer that she came across in DH.

* * *

Nymphadora Tonks was well-known as a Metamorphagus. She made sure to stand out wherever she was. But not many people knew that her mother was a kind of Metamorphagus too.

Oh, not a real one – she certainly would not have kept the mirror features of her sister, the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange, if she had any choice in the matter. But she was adept at changing herself to fit into her surroundings. She knew how to alter her actions, her speech, her expressions. But it was her name that had changed the most.

* * *

Meda

When she was born, her unwieldy name was far too long for two-year-old Bella to pronounce with ease. So she became known as Meda, a name adopted by her sisters, her cousins and her friends. She was the voice of reason linking Bella's passion and Cissy's selfish practicality. Although her home was not a happy one, she revelled in the love she received from her sisters, especially Bella. Later she would try to explain what it had meant to be the younger sister of the woman who was notorious for her sadism, and she struggle to clarify the truth. She had felt completely owned by Bella, but it had never felt wrong – she had felt protected and treasured. She could never describe how Bella's possessive, physical love had comforted her, how living with someone so dangerous had made her feel safe.

* * *

Andy

When Bella found out about Ted and informed her that she was no longer one of them, Meda was devastated. She was not a stupid girl and had no illusions about her family's beliefs, but she had hoped that they might still love her while disapproving of her choices. But she was cast out unceremoniously, without even a wand. It was Sirius who sneaked home from school and stole her wand and a few other prized possessions. When she expressed her surprise, he arrogantly reminded her that all the family property would be his one day. She was grateful, but when he gave her a hug and said, "It'll be OK, Meda" she broke down completely. Sirius was uncomfortable, not used to emotional displays – he always got Peter to dump his girlfriends. But he listened as she explained that Meda was Bella's name for her, how Meda Black was dead if she was not Bella's sister. Sirius was not the world's most sensitive boy, but he understood that his cousin was going through something important and needed support. At a total loss, he suggested that she go by Andy now. The crying girl jumped on the idea. Andy was a Mugglish sort of name, as far from exotic Meda as possible.

Andy Tonks was a different person from Meda Black completely. She laughed louder and more often, and didn't worry about so much about how she looked and what other people thought. She dropped the arrogant ways with which she had grown up and opened her heart to the world. She loved her daughter and her husband with no limits.

She often thought to thank her little cousin for this. His unconditional love for her had given her the courage to walk away. Whatever happened, she would always have Sirius. He visited her and Ted after her excommunication, and she helped him out in turn with whatever he needed. She could not offer him her home when he ran away – they only had a tiny room for the three of them. But the two outcasts created their own family out of the ashes of rejection.

When Sirius was sent to Azkaban, she knew there had been a mistake. She knew of his secret – she was the one who had charmed the boys' clothes to transform with them. But she also knew that nobody would believe her. Sirius had to be the one to tell the truth. He was so charming and convincing that if he was just given the stand he could make them see the truth. But her daily letters to the Ministry went unanswered, and she gained a reputation as a madwoman. They said that she was as bad as Bellatrix, a crazy witch campaigning for the release of a Death Eater.

She kept the name Andy – every time she heard it she remembered her cousin and saw the compassion in his eyes as he had comforted her. There was no way a Death Eater would have had that compassion. When he finally escaped, he visited her. Ted's eyes were filled with worry – he was afraid that the claims against him were true. But Andy took him in and healed his physical wounds, and provided him with the few things he needed. She wept as the big dog bounded away on his mission.

* * *

Dromeda

When Dora brought the news of her cousin's death, she was devastated. Her beloved cousin was gone, her only link to her old life. Killed by Bella – she smiled ironically as she remembered how close they had been as children.

When she woke up the next morning, Andy was gone. Andy was a happy girl who had raised her family in innocence. She felt cold and unfeeling – why did that feel familiar? Oh, yes, that had been the outlook of a child she had once known, a silly girl called Meda who had formed a layer of ice over her heart to protect herself against the cruelty of the world.

When Ted woke, she explained that she could not be Andy if Sirius was dead. She had to change again – if she was to survive this war she needed a different attitude. Ted had an easier time understanding her than Sirius had – he knew of his wife's never-ending identity crisis. She had lost her last remaining connection to the family she had never stopped loving. So he renamed her Dromeda – hardly an abbreviation at all, but enough to allow her to disassociate from Andy's pain.

Dromeda was a lot like Andy, but a little more arrogant and demanding. She was a bit nastier to Remus than Andy might have been. She became increasingly touchy, particularly since people kept mistaking her for the escaped Bellatrix. But Ted only became kinder – he seemed to know that she needed to be different to survive this time.

* * *

?

After Ted died, she did not see anyone except Dora, Remus and Teddy. So she was never called anything except Mum – despite Remus only being four years younger than her, he easily slipped into the role of her son. When she had known him as one of Sirius's friends she had always babied him.

The first time she ventured out of the house was after the war, for the funeral. She went pale at the thought of burying her children. But she steeled herself – she would be strong. It was expected of her.

A long line of people formed to offer condolences. As befit the hero of the hour, Harry was at the front on the line. He extended his hand. "I'm sorry for your loss, Dromeda. They will be sorely missed."

But she didn't hear anything beyond his first few words. Suddenly it struck her as it had not before that Ted was gone – the chaos of the war had dulled her pain. She remembered his warm eyes, the laugh that was so lovingly shared. Ted, for whom she had given up the world and considered it more than a fair trade. Ted, who had loved her when she was cold and hard, and had allowed her to reclaim that hardness when she needed it. Ted, who had agreed to the ridiculous name of Nymphadora even though he had wanted to name her Mary for his favourite aunt.

She could not be Dromeda any longer. She cast her mind around for a new name and came up blank. Her name had been pushed and reshaped so much that it was now useless, like an old sweater that had been worn so many times by so many different brothers that it no longer fit anyone – a Weasley sweater, some strange, tangential part of her mind wryly supplied, but no, Molly knitted her children new sweaters constantly. For a moment she felt a guilty relief that Dora had been her only child – she would hate anyone calling her Mum now. She wondered how Molly could standing seeing her lost son's mirror image every day.

Besides, there was nobody left. Nobody loved her enough to rename her and hold her while she shaped her new identity. All she had left was a green-haired baby who would be raised with an ocean of love. But she needed to be strong for him – he could not be expected to support her. She was all alone - her story was over, except as Teddy's grandmother.

All this had only taken a few seconds. She straightened up and answered the crying teenager, lowering her voice so her words would not seem so harsh. "I'm sorry to be so formal, Harry, but I would really rather you called me Mrs Tonks."


End file.
